Not My Plan

I thought I had everything in life figured out. I had a dream of something I wanted to do since I was little, I had a plan for what I was going to do after that and I had it all planned out, then God said ” My child, I have a purpose and a plan for your life and this is not it. You see, to determine if Gods will for me was nursing I based it off an entrance exam test. I put limits on God and told him, “okay look if I pass this, this has to be your will for me, just help me to pass it if this is your will.” When in reality I knew Jesus healed people and helped them and so I somewhat felt that calling but never really got confirmation from God on it. So I just placed limits on him and got lazy. So life went on, I did some really uncomfortable things in nursing school that I honestly didn’t want to do, I was pushed, and learned responsibility quite well but I started losing interest in it, I stated dreading the clinicals and the paperwork and I wasn’t happy. I started searching Gods word for answers and trying to see if I was really in his will. Then I stumbled across and amazing story in the Bible in Deuteronomy about Moses leading the people out of the great and terrible wilderness into a new promised land God had given them. I couldn’t help but realize that nursing school was a learning experience, but it sure was the ” great and terrible wilderness!” Then one day my teachers pulled me aside and told me that I was done that day with nursing school. I was disappointed because I thought I had a plan. And my plans just crashed right before my eyes. I remember sitting on the side of the bed that day and crying out to God and saying “Lord! What do I even do now!!!??” My parents kindly gave me a break to get back up on my feet again and dry those tears, and then it was job search time! After a few weeks of searching I stumbled across a job available at a church where I live. I went in to interview and within a few days I got the job as a 2 year old class teacher at a church daycare! I absolutely love it! As I sat and realized what a love I have for children, and how much they surround and shape my life, God started speaking to me about being a teacher on the mission field! Hopefully this coming fall semester I will be starting at a Bible college majoring in Elementary Education with a minor in Missions which is funny because I said I will NEVER be a teacher… NEVER say never!;)

The thing is, long story short… I had plans. After nursing I was going to move to college with Josh, (my fiancé) and get a nursing job there when not in school, and live happily ever after. BUT GOD said ” No, Ashley I’m not going to make it that easy on you, let me hand you more of my strength to carry on and pick yourself up, live your own life for me, and do what you love! So I picked up my cross and I’m following him and am continuing to! Know that whatever plans you have , make sure you give them over to God. Let him confirm if that’s what you need to do, pick up that cross and follow Jesus, let him direct your life and give your plans over to him and be open minded. God won’t disappoint!

“And he said to them all, if any man come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” Luke 9:23

 

XoXo, Ashley

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